What kind of parent are you – an encourager or an intimidator? The encourager stresses working towards a certain goal. The intimidator stresses winning. For this kind of parent, “It’s the results that count… not the effort, not the intentions.”

•  Immediate. Praise kids right after the good behaviour occurs. This way, they know instantly which behaviour is reinforced.
• Specific. Say exactly which behaviour, action, or words you liked. For example, “Thank you for putting your toys back in the bin,” or “I like the way you shared your toys with your friends.” If the action was partly wrong, focus only on the positive side.
  Frequent. Be consistent in saying words of praise every time kids do something good. Do not let any good or improved deed pass unnoticed. This reminds kids, positively, that a particular behavior should be part of their way of life.
•  Sincere. Put emphasis on the feelings and values instead of judging kids as “good” or “bad”. For example, if you see your child politely asking for his or her turn in playing a video game, say, “I like the way you asked your brother if you could play after him. I think that was a polite thing to do.”
• Varied. Use different praise statements. Repeating the same thing may lose its impact and value. Changing it is also one way to increase kids’ emotional vocabulary, which will help them express themselves as they grow.

– I feel extremely disappointed and worried when other children reach milestones earlier than my child does.
– During family gatherings, I urge my child to perform tricks for everyone whether he or she likes it or not.
– My child has the best voice in class, so he or she deserves to have the center spot in the special number.
– It doesn’t bother me when other parents tell me about their kids. My child’s accomplishments always outdo theirs.
– I always ask my child’s scores in quizzes and exams, then asks what his or her classmates’ scores were.
– I always air out my complaints to my kid’s teacher whenever I feel that my child didn’t get the grade I think he deserves. I demand explanations and don’t give up until I am satisfied with the answers.

1. Limit the “Don’ts” to the barest minimum.
State your requests positively. Too many negative words in your sentences will only lead to a child’s self doubt.

2. Let kids complete their sentences.
Avoid interruptions, as these disrupt their train of thought or make them forget what they’re saying. Otherwise, they’ll feel as if their ideas are insignificant and not worth listening to.

3. Establish eye contact.
Be a good model of conversation by giving kids your full attention. This communicates that you are interested in what they are saying, and that you are stressing a noteworthy idea, as well.

4. Take turns in the conversation.
Agree on who speaks first, and who speaks next. It is important for parents to encourage kids to verbalize their ideas and feelings, but to also wait for the go signal to speak. Children should be able to understand that if people talk all at the same time, they will end up understanding nothing.

5. Keep a calm, uncritical, and non-irritable manner when explaining.
Keep your “speech” concise. Use language that kids will easily understand, explaining to them what they need to do, and why they should or should not do it. Speaking in a calm tone also keeps panic from rising within them.

6. Criticisms should still be present.
We should also take notice of shortcomings or misbehaviour as we see it or learn about it. Explain why an action is not acceptable, and allow kids to think of ways to avoid doing it again.

Play is an important factor in child development. It provides for interaction, experimentation, and moral development. Here are some ways by which parents can encourage and support their children‟s playtime.

– Let your child be the player-leader. Let children initiate their activity, set their own theme, choose the parameters where the play will take place. Play becomes a venue for children to express their feelings and be in control.
– Help them help themselves. When your 5-year-old asks for help, say, figuring out how to piece a puzzle together, stop yourself from coming to her rescue and first ask your child questions that allow him or her to help himself or herself. Say, “Where do you think this piece should go?” Afterwards, commend his or her success.
– Play attention. Once you make a commitment to play with your child, watch for the following signals: Does he or she want you to actively play a part in the activity? Does he or she need encouragement? Is he or she tired or hungry? Does he or she need to take a break?
– Have a play plan. If you seem to have little time for playing with your child, consider using self-care chores to have fun with him or her. Also, get support from other people in your household, like older siblings, household help, or the child’s grandparents, so that they understand why play is important and how they should continue to encourage it.